I’ve started to write this post several times and just not known how to start, or just felt weary and also not really knowing why I’m writing it, but feeling the need. So I’m going to start and it might take some time to finish.
Anyway…parenting is the most tiring and heart-wrenching job there is (that I have experienced anyway). I would like to say rewarding too, but we are right in the middle of some tough stuff, and I’m just not there yet.
I love all three of my babies ( They’re definitely not babies, but when I see them vulnerable that’s how I feel toward them). They’re my nuggets, sometimes gold nuggets…sometimes poo nuggets .
Shiny or stinky, at the end of it all, I’ll always be their mum.
It would be great if we could understand our children better, if they trusted us enough to share themselves more, if we could put ourselves aside more, so we could just be free to hear them properly. I’m sure there are plenty who can do that well, but some of us not so much.
Too many of our own issues that get in the way…sometimes not even realising we have them or we know all too well they’re there and hope they don’t get in the way of our parenting too much.
I’m not sure what my point is…except to say, I wish I was better at just listening to them. Please Lord, help me to be a better listener.
And I can hope that they will have a better understanding of how hard it can be when they become parents themselves…Stella??
Even though it’s been hard, I would never give it up or take back any of the hardships because it’s helped form who I am and who I am still becoming.
Thank you Lord for all of it.
If I could take back all the bad decisions that hurt my children though, I would… but I can’t, I can only say sorry and endeavour to be more selfless.
For anyone else out there struggling through parenting like me, I pray for strength, wisdom and perseverance for you. You are definitely not alone.